No schedule, no problem: The kids will be all right

I tried to create a plan for my kids, but maybe I needn't have bothered

Moms often like to think they can do it all.

I'm here to tell you, you can't. And you will definitely burn the dinner trying.

My self-realization came rather painfully, in the days after March break, as it became abundantly clear that I would be spending more time with my three children than I had since they were born.

When the province announced in March that it was shutting down all public schools, daycares and child-care centres to curb the spread of coronavirus, I realized very quickly that suddenly, I was alone - very alone - in the education of my three children, aged nine, six and 18 months.

Now, I consider myself a relatively engaged parent: I email their teachers; I ask my kids about their homework; and I sign their tests and assessments when they bring them home.

At first I thought I had it under control. On the second day after March break, inspired by equally ambitious but ill-informed mothers on social media, I gave my fourth grader the opportunity to come up with a schedule for her and her brother to follow.

In it she scheduled in some screen time, some work time and some free time. Armed with advice from my teacher friends, I printed out English, math and reading-comprehension work for them to do.

I put it into folders, wrote them a "Welcome to Home School" note and couldn't wait to see their excitement.

Spoiler: they weren't excited.

But they begrudgingly did it - for the first two days. Then reality kicked in. I was still working, I have a toddler, and kids have an insatiable appetite when they are home.

By the end of Week 1, if they did a few worksheets, read a few chapters of a book and played something "educational" - Lego, math games on the iPad, or taught themselves how to draw - and helped me watch the little one, I was satisfied.

And this was all before the real home schooling kicked in.

At first, when the province announced it was launching distance learning in April, I was a little skeptical.

How could educators teach first graders French remotely?

How would I be able to help my son and daughter learn in a second language?

How would I get their homework done and do my work at the same time?

My husband hauled up our clunky 20-year-old laptop from the basement and started her up. That would be my son's computer for Week 1.

My daughter had a mini-laptop we bought her for $100 some years ago that only worked when it was plugged in. That would do.

For the first day of home schooling, we ambitiously converted our kitchen table to the work station.

Even the toddler sat alongside, slapping at his Dora the Explorer laptop (for a total of six minutes). But within minutes, my daughter said she couldn't focus, grabbed her stuff and ran to her room.

My son and I sat together, trying to make sense of all the homework, assignments and videos coming into Google Classroom.

The first few days were a jumble of me yelling and my kids alternating between protesting and being glued to their screens. None of us was happy. All of us were stressed.

And then two things happened simultaneously that reminded me I should take it easy.

One was perspective, in the form of a social media post from a woman who shared how she grew up in a war zone, had missed years of school, but eventually went back, graduated, went to university and got a good job. She advised people to relax if the kids missed a few months of schooling - it would all balance out at the end.

And secondly, during a venting session with fellow moms on WhatsApp, one friend imparted her wisdom on the rest of us: "If we are kind to ourselves, than we can be kind to them," she said, referring to the kids who now feared the teacher versions of us.

Basically the world was trying to tell me: chill out, mom. The kids will be all right.

And so that's what we have been doing. A little homework, a little reading, a little playing, a little or a lot of screen time, and sometimes, a little nothing (just so the kids know what it's like to be bored).

Will the kids be all right? I don't know. But we are all a little happier - and I think that counts for something.

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This article was written by Noor Javed from The Toronto Star and was legally licensed by AdvisorStream through the NewsCred publisher network.