Parents wary of a return to 'normal'

It was difficult to be buoyed by the prospect of a return to pre-pandemic life when new case numbers ticked up last week just as more businesses were allowed to reopen.

Doubly so when throngs of people gathered in Toronto's Trinity Bellwoods Park on the weekend, seemingly nonplussed by the social distancing rule to stay two metres apart from anyone not in your household.

That's hard to take for the families who have the heaviest weight to carry while we make a collective effort at flattening the curve.

"Families are impacted by the pandemic 24/7 in every aspect of family life from forming relationships to fertility to parenting, caregiving, death and dying, food prep, navigating home-schooling," said Nora Spinks, CEO of the Vanier Institute of the Family, a charitable organization and research institute dedicated to understanding the diversity and complexity of family life in Canada. "There's not one element of family life that's not touched by pandemic."

Yet, even as we face the prospect of a daycare and camp-less summer while steps are taken to gradually return to business as normal, parents are among the most ill-at-ease at the prospect.

Research conducted by the Vanier Institute, Leger and the Association for Canadian Studies found that parents are more anxious than other adults about the virus affecting someone in their household.

Among people living with children 18 years and under, 30 per cent describe themselves as "very afraid" that someone in their immediate family will contract COVID-19, compared to 22 per cent of people not living with children.

The Canada-wide survey was conducted prior to the Ontario government's announcement May 19 that schools would remain closed until September.

And although home-schooling has put enormous strain on families - along with the closures of most child-care centres - two-thirds (66 per cent) of parents said they would prefer for their children to return to school in September and not attend summer school.

Chantal Saville lives in a three-generation household that includes her 11-year-old daughter, Nikki, and her 78-year-old mother. The Kingston mom says she's terrified her daughter will contract the virus once schools are open.

"Every day, we'll worry that she will bring it home to her grandmother," says Saville.

In addition, Nikki has asthma, which Saville fears could make her more vulnerable to the viral illness.

Anyone who has ever watched kids play - or been in a classroom - can see that youngsters are not naturally inclined to keeping a careful distance from one another.

When Nikki was having a driveway visit with two friends from down the street recently, Saville found herself putting an end to the fun. "Within 10 minutes I was sending them home because they were playing Star Wars with sticks (as) lightsabres - very close together."

Until new cases numbers are consistently dropping, it'll be hard to convince parents that putting kids back in classrooms in the same numbers is a good idea.

A vaccine, or at least a viable treatment, would make parents like Saville more comfortable with the prospect of in-person classes reconvening.

Gail Powell teaches part time at a college and visits her students at several schools in Peel and Halton. "I also supply as an educational assistant the rest of the year at a variety of schools in Halton." Her daughter goes to a high school in Peel and her son to a different high school in Halton, plus her husband takes the GO train to work every day.

"I never used to worry about all the touch points and the variety of school settings our family encounters each day, however, I must admit, since COVID, I am a little worried about what the fall might look like for all of us."

Powell's not alone in her wariness about public transit either. The Vanier Institute study found that more than 60 per cent of parents said they would not be comfortable riding public transit, even when COVID-19 restrictions start being relaxed.

Between fear of catching the illness on public transit to needing to care for kids at home, it's no surprise then that the research also found that adults living with children were more likely to say they would prefer to commute to work only when needed (39 per cent) than people without children (27 per cent).

The degree to which issues such as access to child care and reliance on public transit affect households varies by circumstances, of course, as with almost all aspects of COVID-19. Some families who have nannies have not had a disruption to child care - at least not for as long. Likewise, parents in lower-paying jobs have been disproportionately affected by loss of income because of the pandemic.

"The best analogy I've heard is that we're all in the same storm, but we're not in the same boat. Some of us are in decent dry conditions, some are in yachts, some are in little dinghies bailing to stay afloat and some are already sunk," says Spinks.

That said, the crisis provides an opportunity to think about how we can find a more equitable way forward, she says.

"When we start planning the reopening of the economy, we need to think carefully about not just potential second waves, but how we are going to work. And not just gloves and plastic shields, but how are we going to treat each other? How are we going to grow and prosper together?" says Spinks.

"But we do know that we will come out of this. And we know that some will benefit and thrive and some will suffer and struggle. But the sun will keep coming up. We just have to figure out what to do with this opportunity that's been presented to us to rethink how we live."

Twitter: @bweikle

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This article was written by Brandie Weikle Opinion from The Toronto Star and was legally licensed by AdvisorStream .