When it comes to relationships, negative financial surprises are most unwelcome

A recent survey suggests that 16 percent of people are keeping a financial secret from their partner. This will end badly.

In compiling this newsletter over the past couple of years, I have read a lot of commentary about how people are increasingly putting a high value on finding partners who have their finances well in hand and are not swamped by debt. Maybe it’s a sign of the financial stress some people are under today. Negative financial surprises are most unwelcome.

And yet, a Rates.ca survey timed to coincide with Valentine’s Day found that roughly one in six people has a financial secret, and that 17 percent of this group says the value of their undisclosed money stash (debt or savings) is $10,000 or more.

Here’s some reason for hope that you can get past the disclosure of a financial secret with your partner – it’s the story of a woman whose partner revealed $10,000 in debt that he had previously kept hidden. They got past it and ended up creating a debt-free lifestyle together. But the longer you wait to be honest with a partner about a hidden financial issue, the harder it’s going to be to get past it. You may find the problem becomes more manageable when the energy and resources of two people are applied.

Here’s a sampling of the financial secrets most often reported in the survey: Hidden purchases, poor credit scores, hidden cash, a secret bank account, a secret line of credit or long-term loan and hidden credit cards or investments. If you’re keeping secrets like this, make an investment in future marital harmony and come clean.